oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
