real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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