I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
