So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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