Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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