I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
