Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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