Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
