Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
