You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
