I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
These tits shall not be calmed
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
