Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
