So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
