Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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