I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
