What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
