Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
