Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
