I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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