How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
