Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
