she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize
