I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
