My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
