if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize