Cold hands, warm shart.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
now i know why i became what i already was.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
