I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
