Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
