He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
