the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
