if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my shit smells like andre
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
