just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
