I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
