you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize