I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
