definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
