I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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