i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
a search helicopter?!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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