No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
