i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
