Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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