Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize