I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just had sex on a roof
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
