i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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