Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
