whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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