I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
