I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
