I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I can't turn off my feet"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
