At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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