We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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