You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
