It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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