She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize