I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
