so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Operation Purity has been aborted
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
