just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
