Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize