if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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