Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
