i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
