She is in my trunk
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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