is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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