you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
