Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize