im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i now understand why vodka
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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