if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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