he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
