FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
