ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
