were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
