Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
