if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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